Cutting off parents is no easy thing. So, if an adult child does so, it’s a sign that something truly toxic that the child can’t fix has affected the relationship with the parents. Getting your adult child back requires your full commitment to their healing and your transformation.

One of the most controversial concepts I teach in the Badass Counseling Method and my book, There’s a Hole in My Love Cup, is that ‘children love parents more than parents love children.’ Upon hearing that, most parents react with some version of, “No way! I’ve never loved anything or anyone as much as I love my children. I’d die for my kids” or some such thing. That, as any parent knows, is no doubt true.

Yet, if we sorta reverse-engineer the idea of who loves whom and what the implications of that love are, consider this: …

For some, it seems like a giant leap to say. For others, it’s an obvious statement of fact that, fundamentally, anxiety is fear.

To worry about what might happen, to feel anxious over how things are going or where things seem to be going means, at the root, to fear what might or might not happen. Be it anxiety regarding family, money, politics, AI, parenthood, climate/environment, job, relationships/love, society, friendships, the state of the world, or anything else, it is fear about how this or that thing might negatively impact me and/or those I care about.

On one hand, there’s nothing wrong with anxiety. We all feel it. It’s a perfectly normal human feeling to have. In fact, in certain situations and amounts anxiety and fear keep us safe from eventualities that might cause us harm.

How does the term Narcissism fit into your attempts to better understand what you’re experiencing in someone else or yourself?

Although I prefer the term Extreme Taker, the origin story behind Narcissism explains a lot about the phenomenon. It also provides perspective on how much courage it takes to come to terms with the dynamics around extreme takers and extreme givers. For to heal, you will need to look deeply within yourself to begin to identify not just the pain and fears that have driven you, poorly, for far too long, but the core beliefs you’ve been taught about yourself that keep you entrenched in patterns that are undermining your happiness, sense of self, and your inner peace.

Depression, anxiety, lack of motivation. Have you been hit by them? I have. They landed me in a 12-year suicidal depression. And, the question I’m asked, on occasion, is,

“Sven, the way you speak of your parents is that they were remarkable people who did so much right as parents. Yet, you also talk about being in a 12-year suicidal depression, at some point, that you had to pull yourself out of because you couldn’t find any therapist who could really help you. If everything goes back to childhood and parenting, as you say, then how could this possibly make sense?”

The answer is rather simple.

Badass Counseling represents the cumulative wisdom Sven Erlandson has built over years of ministry, coaching, and counseling. That wisdom translates into ‘Sven-isms’ that you’ll find documented here.

If you’ve done soul counseling with Sven, spent time on this website absorbing the content Sven has written, listened to the Badass Counseling podcast, and/or followed him closely on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube, you will certainly have heard some of these Sven-isms. They can sometimes be mantras. Regardless, they are powerful and stick with you.

What kind of relationship did you have with your father? Was it about creating and teaching beauty for lifelong appreciation between father and son? Or was it something very different?

If there’s any relationship in human experience in Western society more seemingly doomed to fail, it could seem like it’s the one between fathers and sons. Men have been socialized for so long to live in old tropes of toughness, few words, and just work, work, work. And thinking that’s what a man should always be, or simply not knowing any better, men have carried that thinking into the parenting of their children, often most especially their sons.

Would you agree that mothers, daughters, and granddaughters have unique relationships? In fact the relationship between mothers and daughters is complicated. In this article, we’ll explore why and how to address issues.

Have you experienced religious trauma? 

By religious trauma, I mean the pain caused by or in the name of religion, religious leaders, or those bearing religious doctrines (maligned as they may or may not be) in their hands and breast. It can be as devasting to the soul and spirit as other forms of trauma such as covert incest or emotional incest.

Few drugs in life are more powerful than new love.

The mere thought of it drives fantasies, hopes, and even entire life directions. It’s no grand revelation to say that love is a universal human pleasure, the ultimate passion. A great many say that it is the very purpose of life itself.

In celebration of February, the month of love in the United States and elsewhere in the world, and as we celebrate Valentine’s Day on February 14th, let’s explore love, what makes it so challenging, dealing with red flags and the past, and how to have a healthy, loving relationship.

As you might guess, the beginning of a new year is a busy time of year for therapy and counseling.

A lot of people are either coming off of the Holidays depressed, faced with family sh*t once again, or really shook up. Similarly, many other people are diving into the new year and wanting a fresh start or are just sick of the old ways of thinking, feeling, and being.

Whatever the case, this is a time when many people want to reach out to a therapist for change and have questions. In this article, you’ll find answers to your questions about therapy and counseling.

For so many people, this is the time of year when the hardness of life seems to increase. For some, this increases negative self-talk, self-loathing, withdrawal from others, and increased loneliness and hopelessness. Is this you? Are your negative feelings pulling you down? Does it get worse this time of year, or is it pretty much bad all year?

Whatever the case for you, there can be little dispute that depression and its kissing-cousin anxiety are a beast and can suck the very life out of life.

And so, what we’re stuck with in life is the grand question of what the heck to do with it? Is there even anything that can be done with it or to it? Or is it simply a burden that must be shouldered but never escaped?

‘Dealing’ with the holidays. Isn’t that a fascinating word choice? And yet it accurately depicts how so many of us have been forced by life to look at the holiday season.

For plenty of people, the holidays are something to be anticipated with trepidation, anxiously micro-planned to minimize damages, tap-danced through, and ultimately recovered from. For these folk, it truly is about ‘dealing with’ the holidays, rather than enjoying the holidays or even mostly enjoying the holidays.

Have you wondered how to be good at parenting?

After all, that little magical land known as parenting is the destination, whether intended or not, of a great many relationships. And, a great many writers and other parents will then go on to tell that couple in a relationship that parenting is not some magical land. It’s sweat, tears, frustrations, aches, and on and on. And that juxtaposition where magical meets ugly-hard is the simplest way to understand parenting, particularly in those early years. It’s no different from anything else in life that you might endeavor that you wish to be a great experience – a relationship, career, travels, or anything else. There’s ugly and there’s beauty; hard and smooth.

What comes to mind when you hear the term ‘disciplines’? Do you consider the term negative and the equivalent of punishment, or rather, a positive that can help keep your body and soul on track?

From a Badass Counseling perspective, disciplines are intensely positive and play a critical role in helping you keep your soul and spirit in the best condition possible.

There’s something about long-distance relationships (LDRs) that brings out agony, ecstasy, and fear. Agony and ecstasy are hard to remove from an LDR. However, when it comes to fear, the solution is trust.

How do you develop trust? How do you nurture it so it keeps the fear at bay?

Here’s Badass Counseling's perspective so you can prepare yourself and protect your relationship.

If there's one whopping cliché sitting smack-dab in the middle of the world of counseling and healing and psychology stuff it's this whole idea of 'inner child' stuff, whatever that is.

• “You have to heal your inner child,”

• “His inner child is obviously wounded,”

• “My inner child was instantly triggered.”

To people who use the idea of it, it makes total sense. To a whole lot of other folks, it can sound dopey or like someone is just stuck in the past, all of which is understandable.

Having a badass life coach can be transformative. That’s the kind of person who pushes you hard so you can go deeper than you’ve ever gone to discover how to be true to your own self. It’s not for everyone. Rather, it’s for those who are desperately committed to extricating themselves from misery, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and more. In other words, having that badass life coach means that you’re making a pact with yourself to change. And your life coach is there to keep you on track as you progress through the Badass Counseling method to reach your authentic greatness.

Are you familiar with the phrase ‘soul detox’? Doing a soul detox is a powerful way to purge the toxic crud that poisons your soul.

In this article, you’ll learn more about soul detoxes, what they are, how to do an effective one, and how they can benefit you from a Badass Counseling perspective. 

Did you know that the book “There's A Hole In My Love Cup: The Badass Counseling® Method For Healing The Soul And Unleashing Greatness” truly captures the Badass Counseling methodology, and is unrivaled in its effectiveness? To better understand what makes “Love Cup” so effective, we caught up with author Sven Erlandson to ask him questions about why he wrote the book, how it has helped people, and what’s next.

Emotional incest is a topic that troubles many adults. It comes up a lot during the Badass Counseling podcast as well as counseling sessions. In fact, Emotional Incest: Parent-as-Friend and the Very Real Problem of Parental Over-sharing is one of the top-read articles on BadassCounseling.com.